Am I a good mom?

This is something we have all wondered at one point or another. How do we answer this graciously and honestly? Culture shouts that we are all trying our hardest and we are all good moms. Then we see mothers neglecting children and homes torn apart because of parents’ neglect. So, it cannot be true that we are all good mothers, can it? How can we be honest about how we are doing, hold ourselves accountable before the Lord, and also give ourselves grace as we are growing and learning to walk with God more each day?

Who can best answer these questions? Only our gracious Heavenly Father! We can lean into His Spirit for guidance and conviction as we cultivate the homes His has entrusted to us as stewards.

“-even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction; ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; ²⁵ whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith.-” Romans 3:22-25

We all fall short! We fail as sisters in Christ, we fail as wives, we fail as mothers, and the list goes on. Sin and mistakes are inevitable. Don’t despair! Christ’s finished work on the cross covers our failures and shortcomings in grace and mercy. This has all been paid for and washed clean. So now we can move forward in motherhood and in life from these moments understanding the natural consequences, learning from the experience, and entrusting it all to the Lord for forgiveness already given and grace upon grace poured out.

That same grace that the Lord gives us and we learn to give ourselves, must also be realized in our children as well. These little ones are learning and sinning and making mistakes and we have a duty to choose graciousness with them. Teach them those same natural consequences, help them to learn from each experience, and point them to the Lord for forgiveness and mercy. Use these day-to-day moments as opportunities to teach them and yourself more about God.

Practically applied, how does this look lived out?

My oldest daughter has been struggling at bedtime with going to bed in a timely fashion. She enjoys skipping around her bedroom, singing songs, and often shouting about anything and everything. This would not necessarily be a problem but if it weren’t for her siblings in the room adjacent trying to sleep. Her bedtime silliness has become a disruption on top of her being exhausted the morning after from a late-night solo karaoke party.

I am trying to balance letting her enjoy her childhood, helping her get a good night’s rest, allowing her siblings to get a good night’s rest, and also teaching her the importance of obedience and discipline. I must be faithful to teach her the importance of respecting bedtime and obeying her parents.

So I go about her bedtime routine: we listen to a song, we read/listen to two stories, we pray together, we hug and kiss, and then I tuck her in and exit the room. I always tell her I will be back to check on her in 30 minutes. If she is disruptive, I am prompt in addressing her volume and correcting the behavior. If she is quiet, I am lackadaisical about my timer. There have been times where she calls out crying as she watched the clock ticking by and my promised return window came and went and my word broken. These moments have broken my heart for both her ache as well as my failure to follow through. So, I say sorry. I hold her tight. I ask the Lord for forgiveness and help to be faithful. We move on and I continue committing these things to God.

Give yourselves grace as mothers while holding yourselves accountable honorably. At the end our lives, we stand alone before the Lord and give an account. Let your account be one of faithfulness, grace, and mercy.

“-For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. ¹¹ It is written: “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
    every tongue will acknowledge God.’” ¹² So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” Romans 14:10-12